Four signs that the night school lesson you just taught may actually be the shittest teaching experience of your entire life:

• You walk into the classroom to discover that one of the students has carefully moved five desks out of the way and used five chairs to make a bed and is fast asleep on it. The student doesn’t move or respond for the entire lesson. The teacher prods her once and then gives up and ignore her.

• All of the students are asleep, except for one who sits and glares at the teacher. About 30 minutes into the lesson he yells “MONKEY! MONKEY! I’m a monkey, I’m a chimpanzee” and tries to jump out a second storey window. The teacher grabs him and hauls him inside and then spends five minutes explaining why jumping out second storey windows is not a good idea. The student goes back to glaring.

• The only reaction in the entire class that may be connected, at all, to students actually learning is when the monkey guy starts finishing all the teacher’s sentences with “cabbage”. My job doesn’t pay well but at least I get free CABBAGE!. I’m a second year at CABBAGE!. The problem is, he’s yelling in Japanese, so that doesn’t really count.

• After class, while walking back to the staff room, the teacher pulls out a piece of paper and begins mumbling to himself before annoucing with a smile, “only four more months. That’s not so long”

Die night school students, die!

Posted in Schooled on Wednesday September 14, 2005.

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