Tripods and Rhinos

Five line reviews of some movies I saw recently:

War of the worlds

  • Lose Freeman, dig up Richard Burton (mp3, 15mb)
  • The first 30 minutes were electric. SFX were amazing.
  • Dakota Fanning must die. Likewise the brother.
  • What’s wrong with U-lla? Why do they sound like tug boats?
  • Ending was handled very clumsily. Hollywood schmaltz.

6.5/10

Death to Smoochy

  • Worst performance by Edward Norton. Ever.
  • Worst performance by Robin Williams. Ever.
  • Most tragic misuse of Jon Stewart. Ever.
  • Worst retarded Irish ex-boxer character. Ever.
  • Hello tragic waste of potential.

1/10

PermalinkPosted in on Friday August 12, 2005.

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Shoutouts

wtf is with the nitpicking death by a thousand cuts reviews that everyone has been giving war of the worlds? i dont think i’ve ever been so terrified by a film. it wasn’t schindlers list, but for a movie about robots controlled by aliens hell bent on vapourising tom cruise (and, you know, the entire human race), it was fucking amazing. FUCKING AMAZING!

— martron · 2475 days ago · #

The first half-ish I was totally sold. It was scary, intense, loud and everything a popcorn movie should be. I just think it completely fell apart in the second half and spielberg couldn’t resist fucking with the ending. It was just like A.I. The dude can’t get his head around finishing a film strongly.

— Dan · 2472 days ago · #

i hear the production schedule was crummy. no excuse for a poor ending, but second time around the ending felt more natural… and the more i think about it, the lamer any other kind of ending would have been… It think it felt abrupt because there was no exposition leading up to the ‘oh and they got the flu lol’ bit… but if there was exposition it would reek of ID4 idiocy… shrug.

— martron · 2471 days ago · #

I have no problem with the concept of the ending, i loved the way it ended in the books and musical, my problem is with the execution of it. It felt strung together, and the schmaltz at the end was just horrible (the brother? the undamaged streets? the haven in boston? the “god’s greatest creation” voiceover. yuck)

It lost its momentum after the first half and never quite regained it.

— Dan · 2470 days ago · #

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