Sunday morning was “big cleaning day” at the apartment complex. I awoke at 8:30, swearing profusely at the alarm clock, and tromped dutifully outside to do my piece (it was either that or pay 3000 yen, no thanks). After signing a form that told them how old I was (obviously essential information for gardening), I was handed a hand sickle and told to walk around and cut down the grass and weeds that had grown up around the place.

After about an hour of sweating away in the humidity, obediently chopping grass down to managable level and removing weeds, it started to pour with rain. I retreated to my apartment to wait out the rain. Later, I hear the noise of an engine starting and from my balcony I watched as the organisers handed out whippersnippers and finished what had thus far taken us an hour in about 5 minutes. What. The. Fuck.

What stunning leap of mental logic makes you arrange for 40+ people to hack away with blunt hand tools for over an hour in horrid humidity and drizzling rain when you possess the means to do it in 5 minutes. That’s beyond simple stupidity. More along the lines of planned conformity or something. Shaking my head in disgust, I went back inside.

When I came back out in the evening they’d cut down all of the trees around the apartment. There were about 15 and now there’s nothing left but stumps. I had a nice one directly outside my apartment that gave me some shade in summer and stopped people looking directly into my lounge room. Now I have a stump. I stood staring at my stump for a good five minutes. Then I went inside and got my camera so I could take a picture. People were staring at me like I was the crazy one. Hello?!

Somebody please rescue me and take me back to the world where things at least occasionally make sense.

Posted in Japan on Tuesday June 29, 2004.

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